Oh, I’ve been missing you, blog.
I started this blog in March of 2011, and I still vividly remember how scared I was to hit publish on that very first post. I had a physical reaction to the fear of someone actually reading my words (or nobody reading my words – yes, a bit of a paradox), as I claimed that “I am a writer” which is what I did in that very first post.
It was terrifying.
I was at school, and at the time, I had a student teacher who had “taken over” my classes. I had to stay on campus, but I couldn’t be in my classroom, so I was in the empty computer lab.
The post was done and had been revised more than anything I think I’ve ever written. I paced back and forth, scared to hit publish and at the same time, supremely annoyed with myself that hitting publish was so damn scary.
I’ve since gotten over that fear as between this blog, my WhereTeensWrite blog (which now lives here), and blog posts over at Entwine Web Design, I’ve published 423 posts over the past 7 and a half years. That averages to 56 posts per year which is, amazingly, a little more than a post a week.
This actually makes me happy, except for the fact, that I haven’t been writing HERE, on my writer site at all. Here, I’ve averaged 2 posts a year for the past two years. And this blog is the one where I found my voice. I got the courage to share my writing, to explore my life, and share my random thoughts about it. I owned my creativity with words, and I’ve loved that journey.
I have SO many writing projects that I’d like to dive into, and over the past year-and-a-half, as I quit teaching and launched my web design business, I haven’t been writing creatively at all which was the whole reason I wanted to leave my full-time job in the first place.
The lack of writing was partly because launching a business, especially a creative business, ended up depleting me creatively. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, and I’d find myself mindlessly scrolling through social media or playing solitaire on the iPad. Amazingly, I’ve written creatively less over these 18 months than in the six years prior to that when I was working full-time, had two teens at home, and dealt with some major family health issues and losses. What?!?
Today, that’s changing. The “I’m creatively depleted” excuse is banish-ed.*
I’m making a commitment to write every day for 40 days.
I’m picking 40 because it seems to have both a mystical and practical meaning in quite a few cultural and spiritual traditions. It’s actually kind of fascinating. I Googled “40 days spiritual significance…” followed by a variety of religions and spiritual traditions and the number 40 is significant in many of them.
If Jesus can hang out in the desert and fast while being tempted by the devil for 40 days, if Jews can wander in the desert for 40 days, if Odysseus can withstand 40 days of trials from the Gods, if yogi’s practice new kriyas for 40 days, I can write for 40 days. And I mean actually write creatively – a blog post for this or my web design blog, edits on my upcoming novel The Tarot Cipher, or words in first draft of the as yet unnamed sequel to The Overlander’s Daughter. Social media posts don’t count.
In my first post ever on this blog, I claimed that I am a writer. I’m claiming that again, for myself and publicly.
If I miss a day, I’ll be starting over.
Today is day 1.
I am writing because I am a writer.
* Yes, that dash is supposed to be in the word banished. If you’ve watched or listened to the audio version of Romeo and Juliet as many times as I have after teaching 9th grade English for 12 years, you’ll understand. Banished is a three syllable word.