I am busy, busy, busy – too damn busy to write apparently. I’ve been on vacation this week with my family and trying really hard not to beat myself up over the fact that I haven’t written much, if at all. I’ve spent the last five days either traveling or at Disneyland with immediate and extended family. In one word . . . chaos. But it’s also been really fun! So, I suffered the angst of many Americans – guilt. Several months ago, I made this commitment to write, but I’ve spent the past week not writing; instead I’ve been riding roller coasters and snacking on cotton candy.
I felt guilty because I wasn’t writing, but then I knew that if I left my family to go sit in the hotel and write, I’d feel more guilty, and I’d also worry about missing out on something super fun. So, I decided to enjoy my vacation, write if I could, and not feel guilty about it, but it’s tough!
In Eat, Pray, Love Elizabeth Gilbert says something about American women living with self-loathing when we eat something fattening just for the pure pleasure of it (or maybe she said it in an interview I saw her give). At any rate, the whole idea is that American’s have a hard time just completely letting go and enjoying something. So this week, I decided that writing is a choice I am making, but not something that I will feel guilty about if I miss a day or two. It is a joy, a pleasure, not a chore. I choose to write, just as some days I choose to spend time with my family and eat bags of kettle corn for lunch.
I am still a writer . . . I’m just also a mother, a wife, an aunt, a teacher, a coach . . . etc. And I think I can be all of them and do all of them well. But when its time to be a mom, I need to be mom. When its time to be a teacher or a coach and work with my students, I need to be a teacher or a coach. And when its time to be a writer, I write. I can do it all, I just can’t do it all at the same time, and that’s okay – no guilt.